I have said before, when it comes to domestic violence, the damage done on the outside, heals far faster than the scars on the inside. None of it is okay, better, or worse, it is all awful. But the damage in our head and heart, the scars on our soul, last forever. Trauma never fully leaves us. Not ever.
Most of us also have a tendency to bury it, to plow ourselves in to other things, our children and work, sometimes dark things like substance abuse or wild lifestyles. All furthering the distance between ourselves and the healing we so desperately need. We usually face all of the demons for years to come, rearing the ugly headed beasts in the best and worst of times, because we don’t know how to fully heal. And it is different for everyone. Our existence forever altered by our hardships, the damage done.
Scars on the outside are horrible, yes, but they pale in comparison to the vast fracturing of our souls.
I cannot say the following enough. For those of you who have endured cruelty at the hands of your partner, someone you loved so dearly, or if you still are; there is help out there, and you are not alone. It is not your fault, nothing about you creates violence in someone else, they are who they are and capable of their worst regardless of who they are with. There is proof in the shattered path behind them, and there is no “fix” for it. Domestic violence is not only physical, your story is not less awful because others cannot see your scars. One night of brutality or 3 years of mental assaults, are both awful and damaging in their own ways, not less or more than the other. Never down-play the harm happening to you, enabling them only furthers the depth of your hell.
Scars on our souls last forever. Do good, be love, take no shit. Love yourself, embrace all of you.
Sending you lots of love and light,