There was a time, when he was nothing but sweet and innocent, from the second he was born… until about a half hour later. And then that Y chromosome turned on and he now says fascinating shit like, “mom! I have an idea” and then it is routinely followed by some grand scheme of half genius, half comedic and nearly always asinine.
Tonight’s rendition went:
Joseph: “I’d like to put fireworks in a tire and light them just before rolling it down a hill”
Me: heavy sigh, “NO”, and then “what on earth for Joseph?”
Him: “I don’t know I just thought it would be cool to see how the rubber tolerates the explosion.”
Him: “I saw something like it on my game…”
Me: still blinking, a few eye rolls, still perplexed… and slightly concerned, wondering if he is on the genius kick, or becoming a pyromaniac… “The answer is absolutely NO, but maybe you can go to school and get a job testing the fundamental make up of things.”
Him: “fine, nevermind.”
To which I responded with a side eye and then back to reading my book, realizing any further discussion may be enabling.
Sigh. It’s the little things. Have kids they said, it will me amazing they said. Love him dearly, but every once in a while (especially as a moody teenager) I think “Jesus take the wheel!” Can I get an Amen?!