I was not born with a filter, I think.  I mean I don’t know very many others who have as little of one as myself…. and I imagine it would be quite difficult to just shed.  Like an item of clothing we no longer want, our unfiltered cloak remains.  I do not recall a time I decided to be a different version of myself.  Accept maybe during the abusive years, I still don’t know who I morphed in to then, a shadow at best.  But back on topic, I think maybe some of us, just have a different frontal lobe, or a different shaped hypo whatever, up there, that ends up meaning less of a filter.  OR maybe it’s just an exhaustion in the idea of sugar coating every damn thing, in order to please as many people at a time as possible. Yea, I don’t have that gene for sure.

Unabashed is how it feels, like certain in a thing, all of the time, but also not sorry for the truths.

This isn’t always a helpful, or good thing.  It can be offensive and off putting.  I have trained myself to not ask too many questions, because I just don’t realize what they can cause in another.  Or maybe I know exactly what they can cause, and just let people tell me what they want, to not be the cause of their strife.  Either way, feelings can get hurt and drama can ensue.  And then just as I think, “take me as I am, or not at all”  I then shake my head at myself.  I cannot imagine dealing with me, lol.  I am sure looking in to the mirror I present, is just an exhausting drag… but hello, imagine holding that b up, AND looking in it.  It isn’t something I do only to others… I wear myself out trying to be my best, my most authentic version… all.  the.  time.  I think we should all strive for that.

For what it is worth, I can promise you this, I don’t care how much money you make, or how much you have done or seen in life, everyone gets the same version of me.  I am genuine.  I may be a little rough toward those that deserve it, like animal abusers, for example, y’all are horrible humans.  But I mostly just wanna shine, and be happy and love, love.  Be there for others, and share my story with the best vibe I can.  Mostly.

You know what, if you get the harsh side of me, you should ask yourself why, dammit.  Seriously.

HOTMESS EXPRESS, over here! And more than okay with it!

Throwin up the peace sign, sips wine… and another… Cheers!

XOXO

T

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