Wait wait wait just a minute…
No really there is more. Believe it or not! (Lower case, where caps should be is purposeful.)
On Tinder after the normal “hey how’s it going” banter:
Her: So what do you do?
Him: I am in medical sales
Her: Oh, okay, I have a lot of friends in that industry, what do you sell?
Him: Penis pumps
Turns out, he was the Penis Pump guy, from the TV show, Naked Dating! Welp, medical sales, I suppose there is a field for everyone! WOW…
Him to her meeting for the first time, she pulls up in her vehicle and parks.
Him: Wow, no wonder you are single, look at this car!
Her: It’s my late grandfathers car, and I love it, asshole!
As she pulls back out to drive away, leaving him in the parking lot. What a jerk… and so judgy!
Him to her social media messenger over a week long period:
Him: can you be any hotter, lol
Him: you have to stop, so gorgeous
Him: omg I’m falling harder
Him: marriage set-ups can happen
Her: I figured we did not know each other
Him: no, are you saying there is a chance, I’m willing
Him: hey good morning
Okay pal, this is not a dating site, it is just a social media platform. Persistence does help sometimes, but this is a bit much, and by a bit, I mean creepy level 100. Congrats! You have now been deleted and blocked.
Him to her on a messenger app:
Him: Hey what is your snapchat?
Her: Responds with screen name
Him: Ok, I’ll wait.
Her: Wait for what?
Him: That hot picture you’re about to send me.
Him to her, messenger strikes again:
Him: Just saying hello, and that you are gorgeous. And if given the chance, I’d hit that.
Her: Well, you certainly have a way with words, so eloquent. ::eye rolls::
Him: And that is me trying to be respectful.
Her: That’s a stretch.
Him: I can work on it, I would rather be respectful, that say whatever it takes to get in your vagina.
Him: Nothing too naughty there right?
Him: What can I say, I like having sex with beautiful women. I’m a single guy!
Him: So sue me.
Him: You’re stunning, my heart beats harder thinking about you. I just want you. What do you say?
Well fella, there is no shame in your game apparently. Poor gal had already heard about the several friends you had slept with at this point, and by slept with, I mean eventually falling asleep because you couldn’t “perform”after all that talk.
So damn romantic…
I am sure there will be more to come, still. These war, I mean dating, stories are never ending.
Get it together!