A boy asked his mom, “How will I be able to find the right woman for me?” The mom answered, “Don’t worry about finding the right woman, concentrate on becoming the right man.”
My (not so) little boy has a girlfriend. Yes, I am coping fairly well, thanks for asking. Now, he has had a few in the past but this one… well from a momma’s point of view, is a little more real. They are a little older than the previous times, and I think this one will be the first of the firsts. Sigh, parents, this train can’t be stopped so it is better to not lay on the tracks even though I desperately want to. We communicate very well, and I do trust him. (But I also did threaten to cut off the part of him responsible, if he made me a grandma at 38 years old.)
That stuff aside, I cannot help but love their young love. It is such a good reminder in love and life too. They are open with each other, not jaded by past experience. They are honest because they have never felt the need to lie or cover up who they truly are. They are sweet to each other because for them, the other is such a special part of their world. They laugh and giggle and joke with each other as if nothing could be embarrassing or off limits. They see each other just as they are because they are not wearing years of damage and bad decisions on their sleeves.
What I love most is that even in the absence of his own father and seeing abuse first hand, my boy is a complete and total gentleman. In response to the first paragraph threat, he said “Mom, I love you, and respect you and her. Don’t worry.” Which is an impossible feat, but I do believe him. When they are together, you can just tell how safe she feels, he makes sure of it. He makes time for her and makes sure that his effort is strong. He hugs her and takes her hand when crossing the street.
Last night they were sharing an ice cream at the table with me, and even though it hasn’t been long everything was just like normal. They had their own little love language going on, but also enjoyed sharing time with me. My heart was so full. LOVE POP!
Their relationship is really a testament to keeping true to our young-love love. To respect what caring for someone is all about regardless of all of the years that tear away pieces of our hearts. To approach any opportunity to love again, as if it will be the best one yet. It’s sweet.
I will be the first to admit, easier said than done. But I am super grateful to have the reminder in real life. To slow down and be present enough to know that it is a gift. No matter how long it lasts or doesn’t. The opportunity to share in something special can’t be taken for granted. You never know when the firsts will be the last.
Sending out lots of love, remember to live and love here and now, while we still can.