Well, obviously you don’t actually eat an elephant. Such beauties, those fantastic creatures. I digress, the question is really, how would one go about eating an amount of food the size of an elephant?
The answer, one bite at a time.
So here I sit at my computer with 13,768 pounds of words, thoughts, and topics in front of me trying to figure out where in the hell I start (again). You see I have bottled a lot up lately. And, without time to process, or over process like I do in most cases, all of the things that have happened over the last month and a half or so, have left me feeling raw and unable to digest each thing let alone all of the things.
I am a thinker, an over analyzer for certain. When my brain gets a little too full, it stays on intake mode but refuses any output. Of course, this is not good, or healthy, or manageable… but none the less, is how my brain works. I think about how crazy this Pandora’s box of a brain I currently have would look spewed all over my sweet baby blog and I cringe.
I am sure that letting it all out would be beneficial in countless ways, but instead, I have been too busy, too stressed, my anxiety has been too high, work has been too much, Joseph has a thing, I am too tired etc. etc. etc. I have looked at my computer and half-heartedly smiled, torn with the desire to let it all out and the question of what is repelling me from my writing.
I have gone back over my drafts, and I have worked on a few pieces here and there. But there is something, just beyond me right now, that holds the key to releasing this damn dam in my head.
For now, I have forced myself to at least get this down and out. My excuse of switching servers, or having too much going on, or “oh look the Blue Angels are flying over, gotta go!” are just a cover for something else. This is that time when if I had the means to go to therapy, I would be figuring it all out. But, since my insurance blows, I will just have to work through it. Takes a little longer, but it always does work through.