It is not about doing a lot of things…

It is about doing things that are fun and worth it!  I don’t go out every weekend, in fact, if you ask my friends they’d say I rarely go out at all anymore.  I mean, my idea of a fantastic Birthday was my gals coming over in sweats and pj’s and catching up.  It was glorious FYI, lots of laughs, I am one lucky lady!  Of course, people that don’t know me, take one look at my social media version of life and assume (aka judge) that I am out every night of the week.

Not even close.  Social media can be rad, but it can also be misleading and a giant pain in the ass.  Most people, myself included, don’t post the day-to-day, doing homework, running errands, cleaning up after the dog, or vacuuming… those are most nights of my life.  Hotmess, hair in a fuzz of a bun – not the cute kind, more like the homeless looking way, sweats, finally getting to actually relax about the time I want/need to go to bed.

The thing is I make every effort to make memories.  I do not enjoy going out anywhere, at any time, to just do something.  Whether it’s a Birthday, traveling, laying on the beach watching the stars at 1 am, a concert, or a dinner, I attempt to participate in things I really want to and then make the most of those experiences.

Making things and events count often, is not the same as just being busy.  I used to need to be busy.  I said yes to every event, party, dinner, date, game, you name it!  It was the distraction I needed to float through life before I could really deal with the things that happened to me.  Now, I love my home, there is no abuse there anymore, it is my sanctuary.  I love my alone, it is no longer the loneliest place I have ever been filled with grief, sadness, fear, guilt, and distress.  Rebuilding a life that I love took time, learning to say “no” did too.  Busy is not something I need anymore, so I stopped.

Certainly as a single mom, busy still happens, there is the kiddo, and sports, and the pup, and work, and oh this sweet lil blog, conferences, family, board meetings, volunteering etc…. it’s just not part of my social life anymore.  Instead, my social life is full of love and great memory-making experiences.  If I chose to be there, if I chose to spend time with someone, it means something.  Otherwise, I am in bed by like nine most nights, seriously.

I had a friend come back here after moving away, and his sentiment “not much has changed”.  Every person wanted to go out, meet at a bar or they were just going out anyway.  We settled on having a tea at my dinner table and really getting to catch up over a great conversation.  Let me clarify, I do go out, I am not saying it’s a bad thing, you do you!  I am just saying there is more to going out if it means something.  I cannot hang like I used to, so it must be worth it!

Anywho, I am starting to get redundant.  I do not owe anyone an explanation, for sure, I simply want to clarify.  I do not do a bunch of stuff, I do stuff that is worth capturing.

On that note, cheers!

T