You come in with a flash, speaking the words that any heart longs to hear. “Don’t you feel that!? It’s like magic!” Is it him? Finally, is it him? One that could be capable after all? Those were words that used to long to respond. Now replaced with the calm coolness of a fresh spring morning, dewy and filled with fog. Hold on, it will soon clear.
Certainly not him.
That flash in the pan dies out faster than flies who land in the trap. Drawn in by the succulent, sticky sweetness.
So I sit, amused at the attempts to not be like everyone before you. “You’ll see” as I have always been told. And then, as always, I do. Same.
Lavish, loving, inquiring you take the deepest breath in an attempt to dive deeper, passing skeletons on your way down. You sink, you hold on, frantically you realize you are not going to make it, you are not who you thought you could be. You turn from the most wondrous of all things you have ever seen and race for the air you can’t live without, the air filled with the laughter of lesser women. You return to the surface like a frightened animal, just not as adorable.
As the air fills your lungs you vanish back into your reality surrounded by the bubble you thrive in. Floating away into your ignorant bliss you wonder if it was all a dream. A nightmare you then want to avoid because your inabilities and weaknesses become ever apparent. The truth sets in that I would have accepted you as you were and you wasted it by trying to be something you are not.
You were just ignited by an ember from the flame where the deepest soul resides. Burned, left with a small scar you cannot ever forget.