Drama, drama – don’t save it for your mama, she has enough to deal with!
During a catch-up sesh yesterday the person I was speaking with had A LOT to talk about.
Now, let me interject here that I, like most, well maybe just some, try to avoid drama like the plague. But, sometimes life just happens like that. I am not talking about the he-said, she-said, who is dating who drama. More like your friend made a life choice that created quite a stir. Or, a disagreement amongst family members, a co-worker not pulling their weight, the weather flat-lining your plans, your child (or wife) having a meltdown in TJMAXX, the dog ate the couch and such. There are all kinds of situations that create a bit of ick in our lives. Again, I am not referring here to people who are addicted to chaos and also breed that shit. Save them for a different day, freaking soul suckers.
Okay – back on track. This person had some serious life stuff happening all around them. Usually, our talks are:
Me: You good?
Them: Yep, not a whole lot to report here.
Me: Same – glad to hear it.
Them: You too, just wanted to check in, love you.
Me: I am glad you did, love you!
So this time, after a good fifteen minutes of listening I said, “Wow, there is a bunch going on over there!” To which they replied, “I know, months of quiet and then wham, it hits you all at once!”
It got me thinking about how sometimes life just works that way. Sometimes we create a life that is calm and predictable and then out of nowhere it is like a shit storm of madness. It can take us so off guard that we immediately cower or run – slink into our safe shell and praying, no begging it passes.
The truth is though, that everything does pass eventually. So why sink in, why cower? Every storm ends and then there is another bright day behind it and you have made it through them all so far. One hundred percent of the storms in your life, that may have dumped all over you, you have survived.
YOU HAVE SURVIVED 100% OF THEM! (Once more for good measure!)
An author, blogger, life-coach, and many other great and notable descriptors – all around rad human, Dr. Jeremy Goldberg (Long Distance Love Bombs) recommended a book called The Places That Scare You by Pema Chödrön (linked and super great!). In it she mentions, and Jeremy Goldberg expounded on it in his IG story, that we each are like the sky, and the things that happen are like the storms and clouds that pass through. Like WHAT?! My brain erupted. We are the sky, we remain constant, the storms may roll through and then they go.
We can attempt to keep a peaceful life, and that peace is priceless. But it is not real to live there all of the time. It wouldn’t really be living to stay there, none of the magic happens by staying in the safe zone. It is of utmost importance to have a safe zone, our very own safe haven within ourselves, but real life is messy and living in it and getting through it is what makes a good life. One that we share with others, which inevitably invites other levels of messy, is absolutely worth it.
I have been through hell, I have loved, lost, risen up, broken hard, sprang back up, received gifts of my lifetime and ruined other things and I would not change one second of it, not even the pain or sadness if it meant I landed anywhere other than exactly where I am. Sometimes it is really, really hard, devastating even, breaks are needed, finding peace is vital. Dancing in the storms too, though, washes us clean again. It helps the regrowth, it can be the fresh start.
Am I where I intend to go? No, but I am on my way. This journey is me, my life and the work, growing, learning, evolving along the way through the storms, drama, good times and bad. The journey is digging into the storms, figuring out how they work, what feelings they invoke and then choosing my way through. Choosing how I want to feel, what I want to learn, how I want to grow from it, but always, always moving forward.
You may be thinking “Easier said than done!” and I do not disagree. The how though is up to you. You chose one foot in front of the other instead of remaining stuck. You refuse to stop, even when it is hard, if you want to get through to the other side of the ick thing. I have been through the unsurvivable and coming through the other side was phenomenal. I will post soon about some ideas and actions that helped me through, and as always, if you are struggling, I am here for you!
Let’s go be warriors at life and love! I have your back!