Uncontrollably ME

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Heavy stuff

Love > Hate

LOVE > hate So l dreamt last night that I was back in my old home, with my abusive ex. Day after day, in this dream, I was assaulted, raped, and battered.  Scarred, broken, weak.  One day I had a… Continue Reading →

Tacos and tequila, interrupted.

In between tacos and tequila, I realized I was a distraction from the real work you needed to do. I was an enabler without even being aware of it. Until it hit me. Until it was glaring in my face… Continue Reading →

More on the key…

So I realized after the last post, that I was so relieved to have had some clarity, I didn’t really talk about the actual key.  And as it turns out, it was not the crying, wouldn’t it be lovely though… Continue Reading →

This night, late night pondering.

So it seems what numbs my mind ails my heart, but “avoiding” it (as my doc recommends) also ails my heart.  My numbing of choice this night, wine.  This looming feeling visits often but has become like an old book… Continue Reading →

I’ve been in 5 states in three weeks

08/21 – I’ve been in 5 states in the last two and a half weeks, and I’m beat!  Like, cannot get enough sleep and haven’t had to take a sleep aid in a week kinda tired!   I started this… Continue Reading →

Lost boys.

Hate, racism, and bigotry have no place in this world, and definitely not in this country where men and women of all races, creeds, colors, nationalities fought for our freedoms, some giving their lives for it.  In the heat of war and battle, when these very heroes are covered in mud, sweat, and blood, the color of skin is irrelevant.  

Grief will find you, even where you least expect it.

  Often after a breakup or loss, the pain is so intense it leaves you feeling so low, wondering if you can even go on.  Like there is an actual hole in your core and all that exists there is an… Continue Reading →

Odds are, if you have to look, it is already too late.

My middle of the night anxiety is the. absolute. worst.  For anyone new here I have had anxiety all of my life.  It is not something you catch, and until I was diagnosed, I just thought it was normal.  Normal… Continue Reading →

I will always advocate for you.

I often receive questions and comments from those who need help the most.  They know something isn’t quite right, or that their experiences are not okay, or that they need help.  When I began speaking I was worried that this would… Continue Reading →

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