Whatchu got in that cup?
Y'all I have said it before, and to myself on the reg, but, I will say it again, you cannot pour from an empty cup. You cannot be for anyone what you are not first for yourself. You cannot give what you don't have.
I know it's hard, and life is more of a mess than not. But, it is not selfish to be there for yourself too, and often first. As a parent I know how foreign a concept coming first sounds, but how can we give to them, or anyone else, if we do not have anything to give? If I am not happy, I certainly will struggle with providing happiness to someone else.
Now misery, on the other hand, works the opposite way. As the saying goes, it loves company. That passes back and forth like a ping-pong ball, but I was never good at it, if I am honest.... or maybe it is having zero competitive bones in this bod. I digress.
You have to have grace and love and patience with yourself if you ever want to be any of those things to or for someone else. Anyone else.
Compassion, empathy, understanding - yep, same there too. I cannot tell someone to be kinder to themselves and then look in the mirror with disgust. It just doesn't work.
Happiness, joy, compassion, love, admiration, kindness and so many more, those are all an inside job first. Do the work there, grow, learn, be and do better. And when you fuck up, as we all do, just have a little grace with yourself, and then try again.
If you place your good feels in the hands of someone else, let it be to share with them, not hold them responsible for yours. Value your emotions and feelings, love yourself the way you would someone else, honor all the love and light in you, it all starts from there.
Lots of loves comin at ya! And a few extra for you, the one who needs it most today... hugs!